Hey 2014

I'm not much for resolutions or even goals for a new year, but this year I've decided to just face it all - the things that scare me, the things that are hard, the uncertainties and insecurities.  I want to look those things - the big and the little - in the eye and choose to see the good and see the truth.  It might sound strange so to give an example, I've had a small insecurity about a friendship recently, and instead of letting things go haywire in my mind or become bitter/cynical towards them, I found the root of the problem - that I'm worried I'm not good enough, or not as good of a mom as her, just that there's things lacking in ME - and claimed every truth I know against that: I'm accepted as a daughter of the King and that's the only security I will ever need, and I can love this friend fully because I have that freedom.  It actually really helped my attitude.  Now to just apply that to every other little crazy thought in my brain :)

The other area I'm committing to is that of my health/fitness.  I'm kind of in a tough place cause I'm really hoping we get pregnant this year (though we're not yet ready), and I struggle with the idea of being fit and pregnant, ha.  With Hadley I gained a TON of weight - and though I'd like to look back and think about how it was all water weight, or I just couldn't help it....I really could, and the bottom line is I gave myself license to eat whatever the heck I wanted.  Hence the 60lb weight gain.

So this year, I've been trying to eat cleaner but I'm still indulging in some of my bad habits, like French Vanilla coffee creamer (as much as I want....I just cannot ration that stuff.  I won't drink my coffee then, and it's just not worth it to me to give that up) and the occasional Diet Coke.  And of course, my wine :)  I've been back at the gym, running on that dreadmill and getting more into the weight machines.  I don't have a goal of weight loss, per se, just to drop a pants size so I'm truly back to my pre-pregnancy size.

Here's been some of my meals -

Top to Bottom:
Black Bean Dip & Low Carb Tortillas cut into chips and baked

Scrambled eggs, spinach and sweet potatoes w/ Sriracha

Skinnytaste's Sugar Snap Pea, Chicken and Carrot stir fry

PB2 Banana Protein smoothie

Fat Free Greek Yogurt w/ Kashi Go Lean, dried berries and a drizzle of agave

The tough thing for me is that I'm a Southern girl at heart and will always love foods like mac and cheese, biscuits and gravy, BUTTER, full fat mayo/yogurt/sour cream/etc, but the bottom line is that I just can't eat it the way I want to.  I can already tell that my metabolism is slower than it was a few years ago so I recognize that in order to maintain a healthy weight I need to learn good eating habits now.  

Well, I'm off to pick up my house for the 15th time today.  That's one of the drawbacks of having a tiny house - it can feel messy within minutes when you don't have a playroom or office!  Happy weekend!