Sunday, June 23, 2013

There is nothing sweeter than this little girl.  Even with dirt all over her mouth.

When I first got pregnant with Hadley, Brad and I would often talk about how we wanted to "plan" our little family.  I had heard from a few people that having your kids closely together was the way to go, for multiple reasons, so I always assumed that I would want to get pregnant fairly quickly (within the first year) after having Hadley.

Through the first few months of her life, I would look at her and think, there is no way I can even think about having another baby.  My heart was so tied up in love with her that I didn't want anything to do with another child yet.  I knew that this was a normal part of having my first baby and figured that within the next few months I would be ready to maybe start "trying" for #2.

But then the months kept rolling past and though I would sometimes have thoughts of getting pregnant again, there was always something within me that kept me from really embracing the idea.  And here we are, less than two months until her 1st birthday - the time that I figured I would be pregnant by - and I have firmly, conclusively decided that I am not ready for baby number 2.

The reason?  I am just so dang happy with my life right now.  I'm sure it sounds cliche, but it literally brings tears to my eyes to think of how incredibly content I am.  I have absolutely every single thing I ever wanted - I'm a wife to the very best man I've ever met and a mommy to the sweetest baby girl I've ever known.  We live in a tiny house on a quiet little street in a small town, we don't have all the money in the world and are not even close to it, but I can say with my whole heart that if nothing ever changed about my life -if we never had another baby, if my husband never made more money, if we always lived in a small house - I feel as though I would be 100% okay with that.  I am finally a stay-at-home-mom and love my days with Hadley more than anything.  I can't imagine adding morning sickness, tiredness, physical discomfort and finally a newborn, to my life right now.

So even though supposedly my ovaries are declining in quality as I speak (though that's being debated, check out this article!  How Long Can You Wait to Have A Baby?) and I'm just getting older and probably more tired with less energy, I've decided that I'm going to listen to my heart and more importantly, trust God that when the time is most right, that He will give me the desire for another baby.

In the meantime, though, I plan to enjoy my life...just the way it is.

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